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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29538108">Every second I'm without you, I'm a mess</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancerChronicles/pseuds/DancerChronicles'>DancerChronicles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Playlist of our moments together [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward First Times, Crying After Sex, Demisexual Noctis Lucis Caelum, First Time, Flustered Noctis Lucis Caelum, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:55:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29538108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancerChronicles/pseuds/DancerChronicles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ignis and Noctis are engaged to be married, after a long time of keeping their relationship a secret. And while they have shared a great many of moments between them, they have yet to be intimate with each other. Noctis finally feels ready to take the next step in his relationship with Ignis, he is just uncertain as to how to go about asking.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Playlist of our moments together [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155260</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Every second I'm without you, I'm a mess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first time venturing into smut with these two and it's literally taken me two weeks to get around to actually finishing it, and I honestly don't write smut that often; but I kinda wanted to explore Noctis being socially awkward but doing his best. Fic title is from the song "I Caught Fire" by The Used.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noctis awoke just before dawn began to rise, ever since he had returned from the crystal and restored light to the world; his sleep pattern had become very irregular. It would probably take a while to become settled again after sleeping for ten years, he shifted to find Ignis still in bed beside him; it seemed that Ignis’ sleep pattern had also become unsettled since he was usually awake before Noctis. He smiled and ran his fingers through his fiance’s hair, happy that he could share these moments cuddling him before they had to face their responsibilities.</p><p>He had emerged from the crystal expecting to die, only to meet with Ignis who had insisted that he would make sure that he lived. He always knew Ignis was a stubborn bastard, the very day he had gone into the crystal; he had found Ignis on the ground with the ring of the lucii on his finger moments from death. Noctis was thankful everyday that they were both here, they were both safe; even if he still had nightmares about the crystal; even if he thought the astrals were playing a joke on him and planned to take him away at any minute.</p><p>Ignis stirred, and smiled when he saw Noctis. “Good morning love, you’re awake early.” He said, shifting closer so they were tangled together. Noctis returned the smile before leaning in for a kiss, he didn’t want this moment between them to end. It was a perfect life he had, in his bed with the love of his life; their cat Liora curled up at their feet. He would never let any of the astrals or Ardyn take him away ever again. Ignis seemed to sense Noctis was lost in thought and he touched his cheek gently. “What are you thinking about darling?” He asked softly.</p><p>“How perfect you are.” Noctis replied, touching his forehead against his fiance’s; over a decade ago such loving declarations would have made Noctis flustered, but after being faced with the possibility of losing Ignis in Zegnautus Keep, he had decided that he couldn’t leave anything unsaid. Not after losing his father and Lunafreya, even though by that time he had been dating Ignis for a year before he was betrothed to the oracle; it had still been difficult for him to express himself.</p><p>“I would say you are far more perfect than I am Noct.” Ignis replied, stroking Noctis’ hair. “Being by your side like this, it’s all I ever wanted. That’s why I did everything I could to make sure the prophecy wouldn’t happen, out of my own selfishness. I am far from perfect.” He added, Noctis shook his head before holding Ignis closer to him trying to ease his insecurities. A long time ago it would always be Ignis comforting Noctis, nowadays they were both equally comforting towards each other; never afraid to be vulnerable in front of the other.</p><p>“You are perfect, you’ve always been so understanding towards me; you’re the best thing that ever happened to me Ignis.” Noctis reassured, he never thought he would become this open about his feelings; but his journey had taught him many things. Their relationship hadn’t always been easy, there were many times where Noctis felt like he wasn’t adequate enough for Ignis; their relationship was one of undying loyalty and trust, yet they had never been intimate with each other outside of kissing. Noctis discovered later on that he was demisexual, and while he was nervous to tell Ignis about it; his lover had understood and reassured Noctis that he was content with the way things were.</p><p>However, recently Noctis had started to feel like he was ready to explore it, their recent kisses had become more heated; and more often than not Noctis had felt a fire burning within him when he had found himself lying back against the pillows with Ignis over him. He often imagined what it would be like to take that next step with Ignis, usually at times where he was meant to be working; causing him to become incredibly distracted, and flustered when Ignis inquired about it.</p><p>The problem was he didn’t really know how to address this, would it just happen naturally; or would he have to bring it up? He wondered if every couple had to go through this, the first time they decided to make love to each other. But there wasn’t really much time to bring it up at this moment, it was about time they both got out of bed after all. “As much as I would love to spend the whole day in bed with you Ignis, I have a feeling Gladio will be here any moment to haul my ass out of bed.” Noctis said, as he leaned in for another kiss; and not a moment too soon there was a loud banging at the door.</p><p>“Noctis I swear to Titan if you’re not ready in ten minutes, I am dragging your ass to the throne room myself; that goes for you too Ignis.” They heard Gladio exclaim from the other side of the door, as they both caught each other’s eyes; and stifled their giggles. Noctis sighed as he sat up and got himself ready as quickly as possible, he didn’t want to keep his shield waiting any longer; just because he was too distracted thinking about taking the next step in his relationship with Ignis.</p><p>~</p><p>In the middle of going through his paperwork, Noctis laid his head down on the desk with a loud sigh; he was officially distracted yet again with thoughts of Ignis pushing him down onto his bed and slowly undressing him. There was no way around this anymore, he had to address this problem with Ignis; he couldn’t keep being distracted like this anymore. He pulled out his phone, making sure to go on private search; while he moogled the best way to bring up wanting to go to the next level with a lover.</p><p>Astrals he was such a mess right now, how on earth was he going to be able to seduce Ignis if he didn’t even know what he was doing? It wasn’t like he could cook Ignis a romantic meal with his level of cooking, it wasn’t like they were the type of couple for grand romantic gestures. They had ended up proposing to each other on a fishing trip after all. Maybe it didn’t have to be an overly romantic situation, if Noctis was too anxious about getting everything right; something would inevitably go wrong.</p><p>“Shiva save me, I’m a fucking wreck.” Noctis muttered to himself, as he decided to continue working; these documents wouldn’t sign themselves after all. Maybe Ignis would just appreciate a meal from his favourite takeout place, while Noctis worked up the courage to tell him what he had been thinking about. Although that could also go wrong, what if Ignis got too shocked and ended up spitting out his wine or something worse? Noctis brought his hands up to his face, wanting to just scream at how stupid he was being.</p><p>~</p><p>Somehow Noctis managed to get through the rest of his day, Ignis had sent him a text to inform him that he would be home later tonight. So that left enough time for him to be able to order food in and try to calm himself down before his fiance returned home, to find him in this anxious state he had gotten himself into. As soon as he got back to their shared room complex, he prepared himself some tea; making sure to order the food as he waited for Ignis to get back.</p><p>Luckily the food arrived ten minutes before Ignis was due to be back, so Noctis was able to set the table; making sure to put out candles. He thanked the six that he didn’t burn himself trying to light the candles with his hands shaking so much. Hopefully it looked nice enough for Ignis, he had used his favourite scented candles after all. He heard the door open as his lover came home, looking surprised at the setting. “Hello love, what’s this all about?” Ignis asked curiously.</p><p>“I just umm, I wanted to surprise you. B-but I also wanted to talk to you about something important. But that can wait after dinner.” He held his hand up with a small smile. “It’s okay, everything is fine.” He said reassuringly, as he pressed a gentle kiss to Ignis’ lips. Dinner was a quiet affair, the tension in the room thick enough to cut through with a knife. He could feel his own anxiety growing again, from how nervous Ignis also seemed. </p><p>Once the two of them had finished dinner, Ignis leaned over to take Noctis’ hands in his own. “So what did you want to discuss?” Ignis asked, his thumb running over Noctis’ hand; taking the first steps at initiating this conversation. Noctis smiled weakly as he squeezed Ignis’s hands in return.</p><p>“I just umm, I was thinking…” He trailed off, as he tried to gather his thoughts. “You know how I’ve been distracted while working recently? Well I’ve been thinking recently that I want…” Might as well just come out and say it now before he ended up chickening out. “I want you to make love to me.” He blurted out before he pulled his hands away and buried his face in them, astrals why was this the most embarrassing thing he had ever had to do?</p><p>He heard Ignis chuckling, as he looked up at him with a pout on his face. “Oh Noct, don’t look at me like that. Apologies, your reaction was just so adorable.” Ignis said, with a fond smile on his face. “I want that too my love, ever so much. But I wouldn’t want to push you into anything that you’re not comfortable with. I am perfectly content to take things slow.” He added, as his hand came up to touch Noctis’ cheek; before pulling him in for a kiss.</p><p>Noctis lifted his arms up to wind around Ignis’ neck, deepening the kiss; he could feel Ignis’ hands trailing up the back of his shirt and his breath hitched. “So umm, bedroom then?” Noctis asked, trying not to become too distracted by the teasing touches against his skin. He felt Ignis move his hands out of his shirt to grasp his own, pulling him in the direction towards the bedroom, he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening right now. They sat down on the bed together, their lips meeting once more as Noctis began to slowly unbutton Ignis’ shirt; letting out a groan as Ignis trailed his lips down Noctis’ neck.</p><p>It was almost too much, Noctis could feel Ignis lightly nipping at his neck; not enough to hurt. His touches were light and slow, Ignis taking good care not to overwhelm Noctis too much. Noctis at last removed Ignis’ shirt before his hands moved down to his belt. “Is this good?” He asked, smiling when Ignis nodded. He carefully took off Ignis’ belt before slowly working on removing the rest of his clothing. He could feel the nerves begin to creep in yet again, it was amazing how well put together he seemed right now.</p><p>As soon as he managed to remove Ignis’ clothing, he felt himself falter as he took in the sight of his fiance. “Holy shit.” He blurted out, before he hid his face in his hands yet again; how on earth was he going to do this when he couldn’t even get his shit together seeing his lover naked in front of him. He looked up at Ignis, as he was pulled into the others lap and into a kiss. He let out a soft noise as he trailed his hands over Ignis’ chest.</p><p>“It’s alright Noct, you’re doing so well. Is it alright if I undress you too?” Ignis asked, as he pressed kisses over his nervous lover’s face. Noctis moved Ignis’ hands so they were back under his shirt, as he heard Ignis chuckle. “I'll take that as a yes.” He said before he began to unbutton Noct’s own shirt, just as slowly as Noctis had; they kissed once more tongues tangling together as Noctis whined at the small teasing ministrations Ignis was subjecting him to as he removed his clothing.</p><p>Once Noctis was equally as exposed, he moved back so he was lying against the pillows; pulling Ignis down to join him. His fingers tangled in his fiance’s hair, as Ignis began to leave kisses on his chest; sinking down further. He let out a moan as he felt Ignis’ hand on his erection. “Oh fuck, Ignis.” He gasped out, as Ignis moved to sweep his tongue over the tip, Noctis gripped his hair tighter as his lover took him into his mouth. </p><p>Noctis threw his head back against the pillows as Ignis sucked him down as far as possible, drawing loud cries from the king. “Ah, i-if you keep doing that I’m not gonna last much longer babe.” Noctis said as he lightly pushed Ignis’ head off him, before his hand reached out to the nightstand; he pulled out the lubricant and the condoms before handing them to him. “I-I think I’m ready… could you?” He asked, as he leaned in to kiss Ignis, laying back against the pillows once more.</p><p>He watched as Ignis opened the bottle of lubricant and began to warm it up between his fingers. “If you wish for me to stop, let me know Noct; I don’t want to hurt you.” His lover said, as his finger lightly traced Noct’s hole; gently teasing before slowly pushing in. Noctis gripped the sheets tightly as he tried to relax and adjust to Ignis’ finger being inside him, once he had relaxed he could feel Ignis slowly curl his finger inside drawing a loud moan from Noctis. He slowly added another finger gently preparing Noctis for what he desperately wanted.</p><p>After some time of preparation Ignis teasing Noctis to the point where he was whimpering, he could feel himself begin to grow impatient; he moved his hands up to tangle in Ignis’ hair again. “Ignis I swear to Shiva, if you don’t start soon I might implode.” He said, doing his best to glare at Ignis; probably not looking at all that intimidating with his flushed cheeks and the soft whimpers he couldn’t hold back. He felt Ignis remove his fingers, as his lover tore open a condom; rolling it onto his erection, before applying the lubricant. Noctis braced himself as Ignis lifted his legs up over his shoulders, slowly pushing himself inside.</p><p>Noctis squeezed Ignis’ shoulders almost hard enough to hurt, his breath hitching as Ignis adjusted himself inside of him. “Are you alright darling? It’s not too much is it?” Ignis asked worriedly, Noctis pulled him down to kiss him.</p><p>“I’m good, please Ignis; I need you so badly.” Noctis moaned, as Ignis began to slowly move within him. He sincerely hoped that nobody was close by to hear him, considering how loud he was being. Ignis felt so good, it was like he knew exactly what he needed.</p><p>“Ah, Noct oh gods; darling you’re so perfect.” Ignis praised, as the pace began to pick up. Noctis whimpered and held Ignis, he felt his fiance move his hand between them to grasp his erection; matching his movements with the current pace. It was almost too much, he wasn’t sure that he would last much longer. </p><p>As Ignis hit that spot inside him, Noctis let out a high pitched yelp; his walls clenched around Ignis. The hand around his erection and the thrusts inside him, hitting that spot over and over; he couldn’t hold back anymore as stars appeared behind his eyes. Letting out another loud moan he spilled into Ignis’ hand, it didn’t take Ignis much longer to join him; he could feel his movements slow, the thrusts just enough to become overstimulating. They collapsed onto the bed together, as Noctis tried to gather himself from everything that had just happened.</p><p>He felt Ignis touch his cheek in concern, and realised that he was crying. “Sorry, it’s just; you felt so good.” Noctis choked out, as Ignis gently pulled out; rolling off him to hold him in his arms, rubbing his back. He didn’t really understand why he was crying, he felt almost embarrassed about it. “Astrals, you must think I’m so lame.” He said with a weak laugh, as Ignis kissed his forehead.</p><p>“Not at all my love, it’s a perfectly natural response. I’m just glad that I didn’t hurt you.” Ignis said reassuringly as his fingers carded through Noctis’ hair, gradually Noctis’ tears stopped and he nestled in close to his fiance, just cherishing being close to Ignis. He could easily fall asleep right now, Ignis’ fingers in his hair felt so soothing and comforting. “Noct, you can’t fall asleep right now; we need to get you cleaned up.” Ignis said with a soft sigh, Noctis let out a groan as he started to shift himself off the bed.</p><p>They ended up taking a shower together, even though Noctis was so tired; it was nice to have Ignis wash his hair for him and care for him after sharing such an overwhelming moment together. If it could always be like this, he was sure that he would be just fine with that. As they settled into their freshly changed bedding for the night, Noctis cuddled up to Ignis; never wanting to let him go. “I love you.” He whispered to Ignis, as his eyes began to close; feeling sleep overcome him.</p><p>“I love you too Noctis, I will be by your side always.” Ignis responded, chuckling a little as Noctis had fallen asleep almost immediately. Their entire journey had been worth it, as they were now free to be together no longer having to hide their love away from each other; neither of them would have it any other way.</p>
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